I can't even begin to describe those feelings. It was like they told me that somebody had died, I felt this huge void and I couldn't picture life after death. I have this vision of myself at Concept and how my life will be when the well-oiled machine I've been dreaming about gets to blowing full steam. And with that news, that vision, that ME died in an instant. I had already been on the verge of what I feel like was an emotional breakdown (I'm learning more and more how sane people end up insane) and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I think I finally succumbed to the pressure. I cried and wallowed and turned off all the lights and tried to wish myself invisible. It didn't work. It was Tuesday, July 7th. I was in New Orleans and that was the last time I looked at the Days Until app until today.
So, I made up my mind to not go back to Tallahassee. Sure my family's here and I've made the place my home, my personal and professional relationships are deeply rooted and my business is headquartered here but without Concept, I was reeeeallllyyy feeling like there's nothing in Tallahassee for me. It was the first time in a long time that I have been able to identify with the people that are dying to the leave the city. I decided I wasn't coming back and made an official announcement among my personal braintrust.
The text (lol) read: 'They told me the building is being looked at by someone else. If it's not available, I'm staying.' My phone blew up with all the return texts and phone calls asking me where this was coming from, was I sure, why was I running away, WTHs and WTFs. My mom was the one that told me I was running away- naturally I didn't see it that way. I was just soooooooooooo tired. Tired of meeting, planning and defending this dream and that was the perfect out. That was Tuesday.
After 3 very in-depth discussions on why this was happening, how to bounce back, what to do as an alternative, I got my mojo back and got back on the horn on Wednessay. I told the realtor that the business model for Concept required me to be in the downtown area but the size of the building facility didn't have to be as big as the current building we are looking at and kept putting one foot in front of the other. As fate would have it, I had just extended an offer to a colleague to join the team as the Vice President of Operations and she came in excited, on fire and right on time. I fed off her energy and enthusiam and the atrophy continued to reverse itself.
I also came to grips with the fact that we won't be having the big grand opening on New Year's Eve- I felt like such a disappointment, a failure. Who plans something for two years (2 years and 22 days to be exact) and can't deliver on time? But then I look around me and notice people who barely plan and don't deliver at all and I am somewhat sustained. What has been decided is to get the operation (read: conglomerate) open in phases.
Ideally, the conference center and event space (2,700 SF), which is the most flexible of the spaces and is located on the basement floor will be open in time to allow for more venue options for area holiday parties. The first floor houses the virtual office receptionist, transient meeting space, executive conference room and the restaurant would be great to get open in time for Legislative Session 2010. And finally, the crown jewel, Concept Cocktail Experiece, will be open Q2 2010. That's when we will have the Grand Opening celebration.
In the meantime, we have a New Year's Eve party to plan! And thanks to my twitspiration @inkwellalley, I can get back into the groove of sharing 'the countdown to Concept'!
